Image via Wikipedia

There’s this post over at Gawker with the shocking headline “A Majority of Icelanders Believe in the Existence of Elves.” What is the basis for this outrageous claim? Why, this study reported on Iceland Review, of course, which found that only 8% of Icelanders believe that elves definitely exist.

I must have skipped one too many math-classes in school and missed the one about 8% constituting a majority. Even if you add the amount of people, who believe in the likelihood of elves to the ones believing they definitely exist, that still only makes 25%

Gawker must have misread, right? The following, however, is part of their direct quote:

Only 13 percent of participants in the study said it is impossible that elves exist, 19 percent found it unlikely, 37 percent said elves possibly exist, 17 percent found their existence likely and eight percent definite. Five percent did not have an opinion on the existence of elves.

What the Hell, Gawker? Didn’t you even read what you were quoting? Okay, let’s be charitable. It’s true that a majority of Icelanders (62% > 50%, see how that works?) believe the existence of elves is at the very least possible. That’s fine. So what? So do I. Since elves aren’t, to my knowledge, logically self-contradictory there is a possible world at which elves exist. It might even be very close to ours.

I don’t really understand the questionnaire placing “possibility” between “unlikelihood” and “likelihood.” Unless the likelihood of something is either zero or one, it has no bearing whatsoever on the possibility of said something. Perhaps the researchers intended “possibility” in a more colloquial sense, but if so then they can hardly lament ambiguity in their results. In any case a majority believing in the possibility (no matter the sense) of something isn’t exactly sensational.

Cover of InterWorld

I recently read InterWorld by Neil Gaiman and Michael Reaves; a book about an inter-dimensional traveller who joins a corps consisting only of alternate versions of himself preventing the forces of magic and technology from taking over the altiverse – yes, really! The book is kind of childish and I suspect I wasn’t the target audience but it did keep me thoroughly entertained from beginning to end. What I especially enjoyed about it was the setting; it was detailed and very well thought out. The technobabble, while certainly intended to be over one’s head, actually made a little bit of sense and while the setting was clearly intended only as a canvas on which to paint a cool story, the underlying world-mechanics were nevertheless sophisticated and well thought out. I’ll gladly recommend the book.

However, enough about that since this isn’t a book review. What really struck me wasn’t even in the book proper but inconspicuously hidden away at the back in an author’s note:

This is a work of fiction. Still, given an infinite number of possible worlds, it must be true on one of them. And if a story is set in infinite number of possible universes is true in one of them, then it must be true in all of them. So maybe it’s not as fictional as we think.

Quite possibly this is the best and most intuitive explanation of the counter-intuitive S5 Modal System statement that if something is possibly necessary then it is also actual.

◊□P→P

Maybe this is beyond the pale geekery on my part but it amuses me that either Gaiman or Reaves or both are so philosophically savvy – if only by accident – that they would include sound modal logic in a science fiction novel for youngsters.

Well done, those men!

Cover by A Tribe Called Meuw

I know there already have been many lists of atheist songs; I know because in trying to find songs for my own selection I read quite a few of them. However, I wanted to make something different than a comprehensive list.

I wanted to not only to choose my favourites but also arrange them in some sort of meaningful order that tells a story – at least to my own satisfaction. In short, I wanted to select a mix that can be burned onto a CD and I have endeavoured to keep it under that magical 79 minute mark.

It should also be noted that I know full well that not all of these artists are, in fact, atheists. Some are, some are not, and some I honestly have no idea about. Rather I chose songs based on whether they expressed something an atheist or freethinker would be likely to relate to – though, of course, your mileage may vary. More on odd choices after the track list.

Atheists Don’t Have No Songs: A Freethinker’s Mix

01. Intro (Atheists Don’t Have No Songs) – Steve Martin

02. Pope Song – Tim Minchin

03. Imagine – John Lennon

04. Put Your Faith in Jesus – Mark Silverman

05. Letting Go of God – Jill Sobule

06. A Rational Response – Greydon Square

07. LMAOIH – Mark Silverman

08. Superstition – Stevie Wonder

09. Take My Wife – Tim Minchin

10. Dear God – XTC

11. Science Is Real – They Might Be Giants

12. God Thinks – Voltaire

13. Origin of Species – MC Frontalot

14. One – U2

15. Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis -  Eric Schwartz

16. Monty Python’s Galaxy Song – Clint Black

17. Outro (Storm) – Tim Minchin

Odd Choices

Alternative Cover by A Tribe Called Meuw

Some of these are arguably not proper songs. Specifically, ‘Atheists Don’t Have No Songs,’ ‘Take My Wife,’ and ‘Storm.’ I included ‘Atheists Don’t Have No Songs‘ because it started me thinking about this in the first place. Steve Martin says that atheists have nothing and although he jests I thought it would be fun to prove his jest wrong and as such the acapella of Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Riders makes a good intro. ‘Take My Wife‘ (the proper title is too long) likewise makes a great and funny skit. It is a song – sort of. ‘Storm‘ is a beat poem but I thought it was just too beautiful and too meaningful for many atheists not to include.

‘One‘ by U2 is most likely not about what it sounds like to me. A little bit of Googling informed me that it is about the band nearly breaking up. I shall gladly confess that I don’t know what it’s about. However, it contains phrases that lend themselves to humanistic reinterpretation. We only have “One life” and we ought to use it to “carry each other” etc. I reserve the right to pretend that ‘One‘ is about a positive secular outlook on life – even though I’m wrong.

I’m a bit torn on ‘The Galaxy Song.’ Eric Idle really sings it better but a recording from the film will never be of such a crisp quality as Clint Black’s studio recording. Feel free to substitute one for the other.

Be sure to check out A Tribe Called Meuw’s blog for more great images.

Do you have a better idea for an atheist mix CD? Feel free to leave a comment or join the discussion in the forum.

I am vegetarian! Honest! I eat only the finest vegetarian bacon paninis. I love the healthy lifestyle but I wish these pigsprouts would stop sticking to my teeth.

What the fuck?

Cowabunga, dude! I’m so badass that I don’t even have to touch the ground.

Seriously though, I can accept that Donatello might have found a footstool to pose with for the groupshot or something but what the Hell were the animators thinking when they positioned Leonardo? Invisible Buffalos?

I suppose hovering a few inches above streetlevel for extended periods of time is a very handy ninja-technique though. Shredder won’t see that one coming.

The following educational piece of information was originally performed as a radio-sketch by famous Faroese actor, comedian, and politician Johan Dalsgaard. It was one of several in the “School for Adults” series, which expounded upon various topics of general interest to the greater awareness of all. Now for the very first time, it has been maladapted into the English language (sort of) by moron, slacker, and the generally poly-incompetent Heini Reinert. How this will bode for the future of bovine studies is as of yet entirely uncertain. Quite possibly the world will shrug it off as insignificant and continue in its usual humdrum state until it is wiped out by enraged cows.

Image in courtesy of A Tribe Called Möw’s genius. (His blog can be found here.)

Welcome to School for Adults. Today we will be discussing a topic, of which most people in the suburban area have never seen nor heard. We have gathered a great deal of information about this intriguing topic, which we will be discussing. And the topic is; The Cow.

The Cow is a domestic animal and it is usually housebroken. So is the snail, but only if you step on it. The Cow has a large house that cannot be stepped on as easily called The Barn, and in The Barn The Cow thrives and nourishes. Sometimes, though, The Cow also fancies being outside. The Cow has one Tail and four legs – one in each corner – the tail is called a bo-vine and the legs are called bo-sticks. Most people have probably experienced these bo-sticks in their local cinema while watching those marvellously educational Kung-Fu films, which we have all grown so fond of because of their accurate depiction of how all Asians behave.

The Cow has six sides; The Foresight, The Backside, The Dark Side, and The Pharcyde, and the two sides Right and Wrong, respectively. The Tail – as we have heard of before – is located at The Backside. The Cow utilizes The Tail for the greater good to brush aside flies so these will not end up in the milk. On The Foresight you will find The Head, so that The Horns have something to be attached to. Under The Cow is The Milk. If this is turned on the milk will faucet out in abundance. However, we are currently unable to explain how this is constructed. Milkshake, which many people most likely have heard of, is obtained by shaking The Cow and if you should happen to shake it, tip it, and then stomp on it with your friends you will all be greatly rewarded with butter. If The Cow has a stomach-ache, you will receive cheese. Most people have probably tried what it’s like to cut cheese. Should The Cow be refused water, powdered milk – or dry milk – which mostly all are familiar with, is the result.

Many varieties of Cows are known throughout the world. Russia, for instance, has red Cows. The Cow lives on eating; it has four stomachs. The Cow has a well-developed sense of smell, it can be smelled far, far away. The Cow’s kid is called Cowboy (m/f) and the father of Cowboy is called Bull and so is the husband of The Cow. The Bull does not produce milk and is therefore not a mammal.

A person whose job it is to catch The Cow is called Cowcatcher and a person phobic of Cows is called Coward. Or possibly not called at all. Except by those telemarketers. They are such a pest. Yes, The Cow can indeed be a lovely addition to your interior design despite ignorant critics warning you to “don’t have a Cow!”

This concludes today’s lesson in School for Adults. If this should have aroused in you a further interest in The Cow, a book has become available now. A picture book with two-hundred and fifty-four turnable pages about Carl the Cow. It can be yours today for a mere dollars one score and nine and ninety-five cents, but if you order four books you will receive a fifth book free of charge and without this costing you anything in addition. Thank you for today.