I saw a picture of a bird eating a fish over at photo.net.
Oh, no! Don't eat me! No!
It was bothering me for an eternity. Where had I seen that stupid fish before? (more…)
Reincarnated as Lunch
Friday, January 23rd, 2009A Watch-Coloured Sky
Sunday, January 18th, 2009
In crossing a beach, suppose I pitched my foot against a watch, and were asked how it came to be there. I might possibly answer, that it had lain there since the beginning of time when God created it and placed it there.
But suppose I had found a grain of sand upon the beach, and it should be inquired how the grain happened to be in that place. I should hardly concede the same legitimacy to this question as to the one I had been previously asked – that this particular grain of sand somehow stood out in contrast with its peers in demand of a special explanation for its whereabouts. After all, it is all good and proper to lend oneself to (more…)
Fractal Uncertainty
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008evidently makes everything equally valid
by Heini Reinert
The good reverend, Bryan Griem, has been assaulted by a skilful acupuncturist with a vendetta. That is, at least if we are to take his review of Bill Maher’s new film, Religulous, as any reliable indication. If there had been any more knee-jerk reactions therein the man would have been positively river dancing. His stock-portfolio one-size-fits-all apologetics strike me as equally appalling in their condescension and unintentionally hilarious in their consequential absurdity. I would be hard-pressed, however, to care much about the poor, nerve-wrecked padre’s issues with the film. Although, I will say as much; the only way to truly please a theist as a non-believer is to stop being one – or, at the very least, to have the decency to stay ashamed and quiet about it. What concerns me, however, is the absurd view about the nature of knowledge and arrogance in the following excerpt:
Maher vehemently denounced what he deems arrogance on the part of people who speak with any certainty about spiritual matters, but that causes me to ask why Maher’s certainty of everyone else’s ignorance should be preferred. He is certain that nobody else knows anything for certain, but only their certainty is arrogant? Maher has not thought all of his logic through, nor has he done enough homework to get beyond the atheistic canards of the past.
I can just about imagine Rev. Bryan Griem (more…)
School for Adults – The Cow
Sunday, February 24th, 2008
By Johan Dalsgaard
The following educational piece of information was originally performed as a radio-sketch by famous Faroese actor, comedian, and politician Johan Dalsgaard. It was one of several in the “School for Adults” series, which expounded upon various topics of general interest to the greater awareness of all. Now for the very first time, it has been maladapted into the English language (sort of) by moron, slacker, and the generally poly-incompetent Heini Reinert. How this will bode for the future of bovine studies is as of yet entirely uncertain. Quite possibly the world will shrug it off as insignificant and continue in its usual humdrum state until it is wiped out by enraged cows.
Image in courtesy of A Tribe Called Möw’s genius. (His blog can be found here.)
Welcome to School for Adults. Today we will be discussing (more…)
Should Homosexuals be allowed to Adopt?
Friday, May 4th, 2007
Let me come straight off the bat and say that I resent what is inherently implicit in this question. As if it were a valid ethical discussion in the first place. Why are we even debating this? Is there a single valid argument as to why they should not be allowed to enjoy these same rights as everyone else? This question invariably impinges just as grindingly upon my psyche’s Humbug-detector as any question would, were it to question the extent heterosexuals, socialists, ethnic immigrants etc. should be allowed the same. Throughout all the pompous babble of those who would blush with indignation by the mere thought of (more…)
Where is Empathy When Bad Things Happen?
Saturday, April 21st, 2007Links to Dinesh D’Souza’s posts are to be found here:
Where Is Atheism When Bad Things Happen?
Following the April 16 shooting at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, Virginia a blogger, one Dinesh D’Souza, presented the question of where atheists are when bad things happen. Further claiming that atheists are nowhere to be found in the aftermath of consolidating religious gatherings. As appalled as I am by this, reading through Mr. D’Souza’s subsequent blogs, he seems to be taking rightful indignation as a further indication of the alleged lack of atheistic moral fibre. Very well Mr. D’Souza. I will attempt to “go beyond abuse and shrieking complaints” while still telling you, as respectfully as possible, just why you are a cretin, and a mistaken one at that.
Firstly, you disgust me. This is not meant as abuse. I am merely being honest. Did you ever stop to consider that (more…)
Open Brain-Surgery
Thursday, January 11th, 2007May I have your attention please, dear readers and/or readettes! This just came in from the cold, cold North, which I like to call ‘home.’
Faroese politicians Torbjørn Jacobsen, Páll á Reynatúgvu, Bill Justinussen, and Jenis av Rana have placed before Faroese parliament, The Law Thing, a proposal, that (more…)
Open Letter to The Italian Government
Saturday, May 28th, 2005I sent this letter to the e-mail of the visa office of Italia because I couldn’t find the e-mail of their government. Hopefully they will pass it on to whom it might concern. Oooh I am so angry right now over their treatment, that I am trembling all over…
First of all let me congratulate you on a beautiful country and very nice people. But then let me get to my issue of complaint. I was on visit there recently; more specifically I was on Sicily. It was a very good vacation, until the day when (more…)
There’s Time to be Wasted
Saturday, December 15th, 2001Saturday December 15 – 2001
For whatever reason people insist on asking me what time it is. Yes, I do in fact pride myself in wearing a wristwatch at all times. Do I mind telling you what time it is? Oh, goodness no. What would ever give you that idea? I don’t mind at all. That’s what I’m here for. I’m here for your pleasure and disposal, just like a walking, talking clock service, so you can at all times know, how much all the times are. My watch was given to me – as a gift by my mother, actually. And I’m very glad, that I have it. And I can really relate to, and understand, why you ask me instead of turning your head ninety degrees to the left to look at the clock on the wall. I suppose it’s too exhausting.
It’s unbelievable that my watch is more frequently used by other people than it is used by me. I use my watch, like I pee; when I need to. Not as a self-torturing device. The time won’t pass slower, nor will it pass faster, by looking at it every five minutes. That means if you look at it you only make it worse for yourself, no matter which you hope for. But if tormenting yourself really is so important to you, why don’t you simply buy a watch?
The worst case of self-delusiveness I’ve ever experienced happened in school. The teacher was babbling about God knows what. I was sitting on the left of him and this particular subject was sitting on his right side. The girl, strange and bored as she was, signalled me by holding up her left arm while continuously pointing at her wrist. How was I supposed to communicate my oh-so-important secret knowledge to her across the room without interrupting the equally important lesson? I didn’t know what else to do, so I threw my watch at her. Needless to say, the teacher found it just as disturbing to have a watch flying through the air right in front of him as he would if I had shouted at the top of my lungs.
-”Hi, friend. Do you have a clock?”
-”Yeah, so?”
-”Yeah, so what is it?”
-”Well, mine is a little round, silvery, digital thingie with a blue, oval surface.”
-”I know that but what time is it??!!”
-”It’s time to beat you to a bloody brain- and organ mass, if you don’t stop badgering me!”
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