I started school about 8 months back.. and my first impression of the class was that this was gonna be a hoot!

a bunch of funny young people filled with potential and I could guide some of them the right way, being a couple of years older and having a tinkle more wisdom than the rest in the classroom (except the teacher, assumably).

and there were some ripe young female speciments as well! (what a perversive way of saying it)

but there was one special one.. quite special indeed! but let me proceed..

since I was about 10 years of age, I have not felt the urge to talk about love or emotions.. back then there too was a special girl.. but she said things quite natural for her to say, but gruesomely hurtful for me to hear.. and I swore I would never love another female.. for 16 years at least! and that was one promise I actually kept..

but .. urm… but..

ok I am stuck.. I don´t want to say angel, goddess, princess, tzaryevna, fairy or any other cheesy synonyms for the woman of your dreams, however true they might be.. her name is Bára! there.. I said it! and she knows it:)

changing lanes..

we became very good friends over the following 7 months and we started partying together also..

but the last party.. it was the best party I have been to for a considerably long time! so good that I am still talking about it..

the night started with a birthday party at a bar.. a woman that was in our class.. but she quit school and became a barrtender instead (no judging here, I am a bartender as well).. I stopped by only for an hour or so.. I had to go to work.. in another bar! and as I was pouring euforising liquids to money filled alcohol sponges, I got a bit thirsty myself! so I had a beer.. and a couple more.. and I knew there was gonna be an afterparty in anoother bar so I drank untill I got tipsy enough to just not care about the starting riot in the hallway.. I joined in instead:P

after word I went to this afterparty.. it was GOOD! lots of happy party people.. and Bára:) but Bára, that poor thing, had a stalker on her ass that night.. a former boyfriend that could not accept her choice to end the relationship.. and he was a tad too violent for me to just sit and watch.. he actualy tried to kick in a door just to yell at Bára.. unfortunately, I was not present at that moment..

she managed to slip by him and find me upstairs.. she demanded that she was to sit on the chair by the wall so I was to be seated on the seat at the end of the table.. I didn´t understand why.. but then that nimwit PM showed up.. and then I understood.. he started babbling about why this and why that.. and I had heard enough.. I stood up and when PM realized that I was a handful of inches taller and wider, he took of.. never saw him again and as far as I know neither has she:) (yay me!)

right.. I was her hero that night.. we moved on to another party afterwards and had a blast indeed!

when it was time to leave, I insisted on following her to the doorstep.. just in case the nut job wanted to make another move.. and she accepted and we started walking.. if only she had told me the address in advance.. let me just say.. it was far far away! at last.. we arrived at the Kjærbæk Mansion and we had some noodles and a talk about how insanely crazy the night had been.. at some point she needed to visit the “beauty-room” and drunk little me passed out on the couch! and she didn´t even wake me up so she could have the couch.. nope.. she laid down on the floor and slept there.. I felt bad when I woke up and realized what had happened.. but nevermind.. it seemed that she didn´t mind..

anyways..

three or four days later, I decided to actually tell her how I felt about her..

I told her at first that there was something that I really needed to tell her, but I would prefer to tell it to her in real life and not over the internet.. (we live about 20km away from eachother) and it just didn´t seem to catch her interest! so I jsut told her over the internet.. aaand she went offline..!! it was pure torture! she was offline for a whole day!

all I could do was just to sit and wait.. she was offline and she had lost her phone and it seemed to be a bit too creepy just to show up at her house..(moms house..) so yeah.. I waited..

and when she finally came online again, I wrote her a little letter saying what was on my mind.. an honest letter..

no reply..

on the THIRD day without any reply of any kind, I started writing again..

in these day without a word, I started thinking about all the reasons why she didn´t write back and why not.. and I went through every possible scenario if she replied with this and that tone in the text and if she wrote this and that and so on.. (it was actually hard work, but a desperate mind.. well you know..)

right.. on the third day I wrote to her again.. explaining how I had been these days.. and that I would seriously appreciate if we would remain as friends even if I had fallen in..here comes the word that I have not said in 16 years with an honest face.. love with her..

it was a surreal moment for me..

and as most people know.. a girl and a guy meet.. become really good friends, but not right away.. over a long period of time.. they become the kind of friends that are hard to find.. and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I loove yoouuu… lalalaa..

and what was her repsonse?

she was happy to accomodate my wishes!

HOW COOL IS THAT!

I have a friend that I need which is a friend indeed! I love her and she knows it and does not mind:)

did I just win the happiness lottery? what´s next? will I start believing? (pfff lol)

I know this is far from the funniest blog posts that I have written and not the most insightful..

but sometimes you just want to shout out whatever is in your mind:)

may all you beautiful people live long in prosperity!

Panda..

I´m a bit of a wackjob.. but I think everybody should have a theme song!

ask me to make you one if you want one too:)

Panda Theme Song

Sketch Sepahi wanted one…

I present to you..

Sketch theme

aaand one for Ása the brainy girl:)

ása theme song

Why Jay-Z?

By Magni Joensen

You might be wondering why Jay-Z is the subject, that I have chosen to write about and not the Beatles or the Rolling Stones, here is the explanation: it is too expected. I like to surprise my readers. Before any of you start thinking any less of yours truly, let me say a few words about these lyrics and the writer: He is a self-made man if there ever was one, and his name is Shawn Corey Carter. But this name is not very “catchy” in the hip-hop world, so he came up with the artist name Jay-Z, which is a corruption of his original nick-name: Jazzy.

Carter was a man with a vision. He had set a goal for himself, and that goal was simply to get famous by “spitting rhymes”, basically rapping with rythm to back up the vocals. Unfortunately, no record company wanted to sign him, as they thought that their customers did not want to hear a rapper rap about the serious matters in life. So what Carter did, was, driving through america with a big pile of copies of his demo CD, talking to radio DJ´s and trying to get them to play his songs, and he succeeded! Later on in life he founded his own record company and clothing line.

Carter is a man of visions, indeed. let´s make a small flashback to 1982, the year when the guidelines for the entire rap genre for the following 20 or so years to come. The time when Grandmaster Flash (Joseph Saddler) hit the radios with his single “the message” where he rapped about the pain poeple in the streets felt and how nothing was done to compensate for their well-being. The hip-hop industry has become mainstream since then, and Carters cup has run over! This song was made to send a message to all other rap artists in america! It is a letter aimed for the nostalgic part of hip-hop fans and artists´s hearts. I know he hit mine spot-on. Even the name of the song in a strong message: death of auto-tune. Let me explain: Auto-tune is a piece of equipment that allows record companies to literally make any star-struck fool to become a star in the popular music industry. This is a serious matter for fans of the art. this piece of equipment allows any user to alter the voices to make them pitch perfect! There is, apparently, no need for true talent these days! And Carter felt that he was the right one to send out a message telling all artists to “pull it together” and make a hit using no aiding tools. And boy, does he have a point! Now if you would, please, read the lyrics a couple of times and see if you, too, see all the hidden gems. And the obvious ones. Bring hip-hop and rap back to when it was a battle of talent and not a contest to see who was able to find the most useless way to spend their way too easily made money! I salute you, Shawn Corey Carter, I salute you.

Only rapper to rewrite history without a pen
No I.D. on the track let the story begin…
begin… begin

This is anti-autotune, death of the ringtone
This ain’t for Itunes, this ain’t for sing-along
This is Sinatra at the opera, bring a blonde
Preferably with a fat ass who can sing a song
Wrong, this ain’t politically correct
This might offend my political connects
My rap’s don’t have melodies
This **** make jackers wanna go n commit felonies
Ah, get your chain tooken
I may do it myself, I’m so Brooklyn
I know we facin a recession
But the music yall makin gonna make it the great depression
Ah, or your lack of aggression
Pull your skirt back down, grow a set men
Ah, ah.. nigga this just violent
This is death of autotune, ah moment of silence

la da da da… hey hey hey goodbye

Only rapper to rewrite history without a pen
No I.D. on the track let the story begin…
begin….begin

Holdup, this ain’t a number 1 record
This is practically assault with a deadly weapon
I made this just for Flex n Mrs. C,
I want niggas to feel threatened
Stop your blood clot crying
The kid the dog everybody dying

No lyin, your niggas’ jeans too tight
Your colors too bright, your voice too light
I might wear black four years straight,
I might bring back Versace shades,
This ain’t for Z100
Ye told me to kill yall to keep it 100
This is for Hot 9-7
The **** for clue for Khaled, for we the best n’
Nigga this **** violent
This is death of autotune, moment of silence…

la da da da… hey hey hey goodbye

Only rapper to rewrite history without a pen
No I.D. on the track let the story begin…
begin… begin

Holdup, this **** need a verse from Jeezy… ay!
I might send this to the mixtape Weezy
Get somebody from BMF to talk on this
Give this to a Blood, let a Crip walk on it
Get me foul to style on this
I just don’t need nobody to smile on this
You niggas singin too much,
Get back to rap you T-Pain’n too much
Ah, I’m a multi-millionaire
So how is it I’m still the hardest n-a here?
I don’t be in the project hallway
Talkin’ bout how I be in the project all day
That sounds stupid to me,
If you a gangsta, this is how you prove it to me
Yeah, just get violent
This is death of autotune, moment of silence

la da da da… hey hey hey goodbye

Only rapper to rewrite history without a pen
No I.D. on the track let the story begin…
begin… begin

sincerely

Magni Joensen

Panda

Versus

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#Panda siger:
no idea..
http://www.sadanduseless.com/2009/10/tips-for-single-ladies-1938/ <— read! hehehehe  I actually wish everybody would follow that.. it would make the surroundings more enjoyable

Kinia siger:
yayaya, the whole list of do ’s and don’s for women
what about men??

#Panda siger:
we rule

Kinia siger:
LOL
where??

#Panda siger:
the whole fucking world.. women don´t rule the house.. you are our employees, made to think thank you could be boss of anything
thank!

lol that*
hehehe..
sorry I had to break the truth for you so suddenly

Kinia siger:
not really  what we do is we make you think you’re the boss, but eventually things turn out our way

#Panda siger:
never happened…
we have figured out how to control fata morgana… (it´s all in your head!)

Kinia siger:
hahahaha

#Panda siger:
take the blue pill… and stay blissfully ignorant… take the red pill and see how women in ACTUAL real life jump at our command..

Kinia siger:
in your dreams

#Panda siger:
we say jump, they ask how high..

Kinia siger:
yayaya
men are nothing without women
we make men happy, we inspire them, soothe them and make their life nice and easy

#Panda siger:
you are sleeping and havig a mans dream right now

Kinia siger:
what do you know

#Panda siger:
I know that women very often make life miserable for men

Kinia siger:
like WHEN??

#Panda siger:
when they ask for opinion, what to wear, weight, food, places to go, jewelry, hair, advice etc..
hehehe

Kinia siger:

i’d smack you if i were there!!!

#Panda siger:
lol

Kinia siger:
Kochanie, u know how it works
when i ask you if im fat, i do not wanna hear that I am
this question is supposed to check your acceptance of how i look

#Panda siger:
then why ask?
honest opinion = quarrel, fight, shouting, divorce etc.. — whatever you want to hear = peace and a kiss BUT!!!!!! we´re not fucking mindreaders! summa sum = we got no fucking clue and stop bothering us

Kinia siger:
hahahaha  Then I’m telling you what to say
and bear in mind that the question is not really about the weight, but partnet’s acceptance

#Panda siger:
so.. if you would ask me about the way your ass looks in a certain pair of jeans.. and I always reply: it looks smashing! then both of us got our needs covered! explanation: if it really does look good, then it is smashing.. if it looks like a walrus squeezed into a condom, it still looks smashing.. in another way though  but women always hear what they want to hear.. so it doesn´t work afterall..
when you ask us what we think…we WILL tell you what we think  but it´s rarely what you want to hear…

Kinia siger:
when i really wanna hear the truth, I always add “seriously” to the sentence

#Panda siger:
seriously usually implies that you REALLY want us to lie to you
hehehe…

Kinia siger:
hahahaha
or when i ask you if u think i’m pretty, I wanna hear that I am, not that I looked better last year or sth

#Panda siger:
so…smashing

Kinia siger:
it is also because men rarely compliment their women

#Panda siger:
ahaa…

Kinia siger:
sssss
and that ’s our way of getting the missing compliments

#Panda siger:
because we think “we don´t need it, so why would anyone else need it?”
right?

Kinia siger:
noooooooooooooooooo
just because ur not hungry, it doesnt mean that smn else isn’t hungry

#Panda siger:
when we don´t understand something… then we are staying away from it…
I can´t do math so I stay the fuck away from rocket science…
we´re still at the flower stage…
some guys have discovered the secrets of making a female subject seem to be pleased by bringing flowers from time to time..
I personally don´t get it.. they don´t really smell that fantastic.. colours are also in the tv.. and you can´t eat them! meaning: I don´t get it..

Kinia siger:
well, i got over u not bringing me flowers, but i really appreciate getting Cocio from time to time

#Panda siger:
might as well bring you some broken glass from the beach.. its coloured.. doesnt smell that good.. and you can´t eat it
the cocio is a bribe..
I hear you sighing and tightening your lips and I just bring you some cocio and get a kiss  hehehe..

Kinia siger:

niccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeee
but i like that kinda bribing
but it was still very nice to get the flowers from you when u were here in Gdańsk in the summer

#Panda siger:
the lady at the market had bandages on her hands! she scared me into buying them!
she was completely coo coo..

Kinia siger:
lol
u scared her by speaking a weird foreign language called English!

#Panda siger:
she kept pulling my arm and trying to get me to buy her cursed flowers! it was horrible..
in the end I just reached out for some and threw some money at her and she fell to the ground screaming something like “nosferatu! kocham ce! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!”
with her long nails and the raggedy piece of cloth wrapped around her head..
poland is a scaaary country..

Kinia siger:
right

Kristilingar og teirra yvirlegnið atburður.

Eftir Magna Joensen.

Fyrst og fremst velji eg at skriva um Høgna av Heiði. Maðurin er ein Føroyingur so tað brakar eftir í. Nøkur vildu kanska kalla hann ein svíkjara, fyri at hava fingið sær eina Vietnamesiska konu, men eg vildi sagt at maðurin er fornuftigur. Eg (Magni Joensen, red) eri av tí meining at her er ov lítið av ymiskum blóðlinjum her í Føroyum, og tað hevur við sær at fólk blíva býttari og býttari. Høgni er eisini ein sum hevur funnið útav hvar hann følir seg heima, ímeðan nógvir føroyingar ganga og eru trúðarvillingar. Hesir Føroyingar eru uppvoksnir í eini kristnari familju, men føla seg ikki tættan at verðins mest populera fantasi vinið. Teir hava neyvan mót uppá at siga okkurt líknandi: ”hey.. eg eri squ yvir 18, burdi eg ikki bestemma hvat eg haldi nú?”. Høgni hevur kempa í langa tíð fyri at opna eygunið hjá Føroyingum, við at skriva langar greinir við serstakliga góðum argumentum, ið eru fyri at man skal sjálvur velja. Tíðanverri bleiv hansara fyrsta sensurera í høvd og hala, so at hansara mál við greinini, fall niðurum. Hetta hevði yvaleyst brostið ballónina hjá nógvum, men Høgni helt fast í sínum. Eitt er so heilt sikkurt, og tað er at Høgni er ein eldhuga sál ið ikki gevist tí at fólk spenna bein fyri honum.

Regna firmat pietas, orðini eru høgd í stein. Líkasum statshøvd hava prenta hatta í menniskjasinnið í fleiri øldir, og uttan iva eina øld ella tvær aftrat, fyri at gera eina febrilska roynd í at yvirhalda teirra jarngreb á menniskjanossum. Eisini skuldi man nevnt Coelestem adspicit lucem = tað ið hyggur ímóti himinsins ljósið (hetta er høgt í stein undir eini ørn sum er plasera við høvuðsinngongina til universitetið í Keypmannahavn). Hesa standmynd kundi ein gudloysingur, fata sum ein seinasta roynd at halda fólki frá at læra ov nógv, ið fær tey at hugsa um onnur ting enn at tilbiðja ein populeran gud, og at verða verandi á teirra arbeiðsplássi har tey uttan iva høvdu doy í einum alt ov ungum aldri. Og eisini ”Brygger Jacobsen” valdi at haldi seg til tað dramatiska latínska við hansara ”slogan” : Laboremus pro patria = lat okkum arbeiða fyri faðirlandi. Far hetta ongan enda?

Málbólkurin hjá Høgna av Heiði, er uttan iva, øll hesi trúvilstu, viljaleysu menniskju ið ganga sum maskinur til og frá arbeiði, her á hesum deiligu Føroya oyggjum.

Høgni argumenterar gott fyri, hvussu ríkir hava brúkt religión til at stýra fólk við, ikki tí tey hava verið serliga trúgvandi sjálvi, men bara tí tey sóu at religión kundi brúkast til at stýra fólk við. Hetta hevði við sær at teir loyvdu eitt religiøst monopol festa sær búgv í tí danska kongaríkinum.

Eitt av málunum hjá Høgna av Heiði, er møguligani at fáa mentalitetin í Føroyum aftur til hvat hann var árðenn kristindómur kom til Føroyar. Hann leggur serliga stóran dent á hvussu kongaríki hevur gjørt avtalur við kirkjuna, við at fyrst bara lata eina trúgv verða í tí Danska kongaríkinum. Fólk vóru noydd til at siga ja til kristindómin, tí annars stóð guillotinan og bíðaði handan gøtu hornið. Hvat var árðenn kristindómurin kom til tað Danska kongaríkið? Vóru fólk ateistar? Ella agnostikarir kanska? Ella livdu tey bara sítt lív í friði og arbeiddu teir tímarnar ið teirra lívsstílur kravdi? Tað er vælkent at kristindómur hevur brent bøkur um søgur ið eru farnar fram her á jørð, ja, enntá forða fyri at vísindi kundi gera nakað frammskritt. Men hesar tíðir vóru árðenn ateistar, vísindafólk og faktiskt bara fólk sum heild, byrjaðu at blíva meir og meir harðmælt ímóti kongahúsinum og kirkjuni. Tað at fólk tóku seg saman og stillaðu seg upp ímóti diktaturinum, hevði við sær at fólk fingu frælsi til at siga og enntá HUGSA hvat tey høvdu hug til! Hetta sigur ikki sørt um hvussu undirkúga hesi stakkals landsfólk hava verið undir hasum ómetaliga trýstinum, sum kirkjan og kongafamiljan legði á fólkið í landinum.

Talufrælsi í tí danska kongaríkinum, hevur ongantíð inniborið tað at ein og hvør hevur kunna fari til miðlarnar og havt krav uppá at fáa eina grein senda til prentingar, men tær flestu verða prentaðar allíkavæl. Hetta gevur fólkinum eina falska vón í at blíva hoyrd. Læt okkum siga at tú (lesarin, red) hevur skriva eina grein um heimsins bestu pannukøkur. Ein tílík grein er oftast einki galið við. Men um tú hevur skriva eina grein har tú finnist hvassliga at trúðboðarum, so finnur tú útav hvussu skjótt ein hurð kann klamsa aftur í durðakarmin. Og hetta talufrælsið verður heldur ikki yvirhildið í skúlum runt á Føroyum. Til dømis: Fuglafjarðar skúli hevði tikið sær tað fríheit at klippa síður úr biologi bøkrum, so at hesi stakkals børn ikki skuldu líða yvirlast av at finna útav at menniskju ala menniskju, og tað er ikki gud sum opnar ein lemm og sleppur eitt barn aftrat niður á jørð. Hetta metið eg vera eitt sterkt dømi uppá hvussu kristindómur enn roynir at stýra menniskjum her á foldum. Haraftrat er enn ein lóg í gildið, sum sigur: »undirvísingin í kristnikunnleika í
fólkaskúlanum skal samsvara við fólkakirkjunnar evangelisk-luthersku læru«(II,§6). Hetta kann skiljast á tveir háttir, og tann eini er einki annað enn eitt vánaligt argument. Lógin sigur at í kristnikunnleika skulu næmingar lærast í sjónarmiðnum hjá ta evangelisk-luthersku trúnni. Hetta er ofta skilt á skeivan hátt. Læt meg útgreina: lógin sipar einans til tímar í kristnikunnleika og ikki til alla skúla mannagongdina sum hon er. Men so er ein onnur lóg ið fortelur, nei beinleiðis kyndir uppundir, tað at  lærarir í fólkaskúlum skulu »g e v a næmingunum eina k r i s t n a og
siðalagsliga uppaling« (I,§2.3).

Tá Høgni nevnir fyri okkum at kristnikunnleiki í fólkaskúlunum, verður brúkt sum ein indoktrinering, rakar hann ikki heilt í runnarnir. Børn í fólkaskúlunum eru jú har fyri at læra og at tilegna sær grunnleggjandi lívsvísdóm, og tey verða har útnýtt til gagn hjá kirkjuni, so hon kann fáa fleiri fylgjarar og harvið fleiri pening í kassan.

Eg fari hervið at enda hesu grein. Um tú situr við einum gráligum smakkið í tyggjaranum, so havi eg gjørt mítt arbeið rætt. Endin er stuttur, nærum manglandi. Líkasum eg dugi ikki at síggja ein enda á hesum kirkjumonopolinum í okkara elskaðu klettum.

Magni Joensen

__________________________________

Goths, The New York Yankees, Oakland Raider Fans
Circle I Limbo

George Bush, Republicans, The Pope
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Hipsters, General asshats
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Creationists
Circle IV Rolling Weights

PETA Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Militant Vegans
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Rednecks
Circle VII Burning Sands

Osama bin Laden
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

NAMBLA Members
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

I am in school now, for those who read this miserable blog, but yet have no idea what I am all about..

It rarely falls this much snow these years:P

that´s beautiful me in my beatiful hometown and the picture is taken by my beautiful boo;*

now where was I…

right.. I´m in school and it´s a great class.. most of it anyway:P naturally, we have the occasional catfight, to our great amusement.

this is a class with great ambition! we decided to go for a trip to London the 19. march till the 30. march 2010. so far so good.. we googled London, and were pleased.. and 2 weeks go by and I start thinking “hey.. shouldn´t we start saving money for the trip?” (it was about time that somebody had that thought)

I called everybody that were picked by the class, to handle the ticket buying stuff and calling the people and getting the money group, and told them that it was time.. indeed it was.

and we brainstormed.. and the brain weather was horrific to start with.. but after a couple of thunderstorms, we found gold. we needed to start right away! everybody agreed on that.. but where to start? that´s when a light switched on upstairs in one of the ditzy blondes in our class. first we had to figure out how much money we needed, and so on.

we put together a economics committee, members: me.

I thought “eeasy” this would not be a problem for a guy like me! so I  got cracking.. I called THE airplane service we have and asked for the cheapest possible prices from here to london.. she gave me a price and I nearly shit out my ears! let´s just say it was fairly overpriced.. I then told them that this was an unacceptable price! and they giggled and told me “yeah we know, but let us make it up to you”. yeah, they got jokes:P

there was a lot of negotiating back and forth over the next two weeks, but I finally got the tickets to a very nice price. and I thought…”aaaalrighty then! this is easy:) I should get a job doing this!” (que “wrong-answer” horn) the tickets were only to Copenhagen.. then I had to find a way to get from Copenhagen to London.. that was surprisingly easy!

book at EasyJet´s, it´s as easy as it gets!

and then it hit me… we probably need a place to sleep during our stay in London.. I called our airplane service again and they found us a hotel as cheap as it gets… but it´s still a nice hotel:)

NOW! this should be it… my job should be done now… NOPE! I had to calculate how much everything would cost.. not so hard really:P but I nearly got a “hickup-heart-attack” when I saw the sum… the very sum of all fears! to pay for the entire trip and all expenses, we had to collect a quarter of a.. wait for it.. million! danish krónir that is..

*sigh*… I was tired at this point… very tired.. remember that I also had to keep up with all the essays and so on, in school! most of the teachers decided to push us extra hard during all this! …oh who am I kidding.. I loved it:) NOT!

and that´s when I spoke to the class… I told them that I felt that I had done enough.. at first they looked at me in with knife-throwing stares.. theeen I explained to them what I had accomplished, and most of them agreed with me.. I could take a rest..

but there is no rest for the wicked ones! …er.. was it..? nevermind:P

sooo I started dabbling a bit with what possibilities we had.. cow-shitting, lottery tickets tomfoolery, disco parties, filling gas on cars… *sigh*.. this wouldn´t be enough.. and then we changed some of the board members and one of the new fiesty fiery minded wild spirits suggested that we collected 800.000DKR together and told people that we do it for our dear hospitals!… “and then..?” I had to ask… “and then we…give it to the hospitals:)” answered the skinny under aged girl.. “but… what about us?”.. “well…we´ll figure something out!” bright plan, I must say..

anyways.. we managed to get some lottery tickets.. and a permit. and the spread is awesome! 4 complete driving theory classes and a tattoo worth 1.000DKR and some luxury Aloe Vera stuff, I dead sheep´s body(lol, but it´s worth a lot here..) , 500DKR gift card for bowling, and some other stuff I can´t remember at the moment..

and I am gonna piss you people off by finishing here:)

maybe I will write more… maybe not:P

I come home from school/driving school or whatever I had been doing that day.. and the apartment is so fresh and clean:) there was a smell of flowers and the air was just so deliciously breathable! It made my day.. I go find the missus to let her know that I approve:) it´s the right thing to do, right? RIGHT? yeah..

She was all relaxed, watching her favorite show and I look and her with a smile.. I take a theatrically deep breath and give her the double (trouble) thumbs up:) waving them around to underline how satisfied I am and how grateful I am.. she gives me a smile back and says hi..

this was as normal and happy as it can be:) or so I thought..

see…the thing is.. she meant to say something to me… but she saved it for later! what the hell..? later came… and went.. I had forgotten everything about whatever she wanted to say to me… I watched a movie.. and another.. and days went by.. this mystery talk that she wanted us to have had been completely erased from my mind..

and then.. today.. or last night actually.. that were I apparently started a fight in my sleep.. and she let me join the ongoing fight in her head without me knowing what the hell was going on:P so I was sitting in my comfy chair watching district 9 on my laptop.. and she waltz in to the living room with a clear goal.. to do an inquisition on women I know that are named Lina.. wait…what!? talk about dropping a bomb on my concentrating skills.. at this point I was completely unaware of… anything, actually:P apparently I had spoken the word “lina” three times in my sleep last night.. and she had convinced herself that this was a female name.. (we live in a country called the Faroe Islands, and Lina is not a usual female name here, but Lena might be)

anywho.. I tried to explain to her that it means “sleepy female” in Faroese.. (she speaks a slavic language) and when i had succesfully explained here how and what, she finally calmed down… and what did this (me) dumbass do?

I started to think about this name and remembered that I had read an article about an Aussie model that had made it big.. and in an interesting way at that.. my GF started staring at me.. uh-oh.. you see.. we have both read “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” but she has a selective memory, and conveniently forgets some important stuff from time to time, in how to handle a man.. and I am unfortunately a man.. and it is only natural for me (men) to always figure how and what… there´s always a logical explanation! women don´t think that apparently.. maybe they do and don´t like explanations.. I don´t know.. anyways.. I find the magazine and look up the page where the article is.. but i got the name wrong:P her first name was Lisa:) and she stood by the Lina word and was at this point semi-furious and rushed out of the room.. and left me completely.. ??? words fail to describe how “???” I was:P

right now we are having coffee break from this conversation…

so until further notice..

GIMME ADVISE!

it sucks to write just to write…

I was accomodated a room without any fuzz.. a cheap one.. well.. cheap to me atleast:) I walked up to the room and there was a huge bed and a TV that spat out 17 different entertaining channels (if you spoke the right languages) and a bathroom suitable for kings! I am going back to this place if I ever end up in Szczecin again:)

Sleeping time! I set the alarm for 0520 as the train left at 0555 and there was a bit of a distance to walk..

I woke up at 0520.. and fell asleep again! damn that beer I had! I missed my train.. woke up at 10:20 and I was screaming in my mind! had to call my girlfriend and tell her what had happened.. she must have thought I was a regular bum:P she guided me to getting a new ticket for the train… the next one left at 11:58! alright! plenty of time.. I can catch this train…nooo problemo.. I walked around waiting for the train.. the clock got closer to 11:58 and it was time! but hold on a minute.. this platform is a mile long! quite literally actually! where on earth would the train stop? section one, two or three?? and is the train excactly on time or not? this blistering bag of pain is too damn heavy to just waltz around with! so I started asking people if this was the train… they ran away from me when they heard english.. as if I was infested with black death or what might be worse! the clock became 12:20.. nooo train.. except this one that went straight by me… and I called my girlfriend again.. she informed me that the train HAD been on time! WHERE!? apparently I was on the wrong fucking end of the platform.. I honestly don´t think that I would have made that train anyways even if I had spotted it in the last minute…

*sigh*… new train.. at 17:04! I could still use the same ticket from earlier… alright.. now what! town has been explored enough.. my eyes spotted a Kebab shop! I could eat.. I did and it tasted fantastic:) can´t remember the name.. too bad.. this time I chose to explore the trainstation in daylight… and guess what I found… a whole bunch of “Szafka´s” in different sizes! I threw my bag in and spelled a curse on all those people who told me that there were none in the trainstation! bugger them..

I went outside in the sunshine and took a deep breath… AH! I smell… homeless people! goddamnit.. I was headed to town… gonna get me another beer… hehe;) couldn´t help myself.. the Zyviec is a good one.. one of my favourite beers:) I found a nice place with tables outside and I ordered a Zyviec there and had a seat… and watched tramways shuffle around and trains rumble over my head.. so cozy.. and I felt an itch on my left cheek.. I put my hand up towards it to scratch.. and I accidentally squished a BEE inbetween my fingers!! AAAH!! I cannot stress enough on how much I do NOT like these things that sting/bite/crawl/smell and so on! (yes I have an extraordinary sense of smell, shut up) so I could not for the love of beers worldwide… I could NOT enjoy the rest of the beer… I started sweating more than I did before… now I had to be on my toes at all times! this is beecountry! I cannot stop here! I sucked in the beer faster than a woman slides a credit card at H&M! and I escaped the beecountry..

I waltzed around untill I found this pub again! the one in Irish style:) found it and there was the same bartender as yesterday:) lovely.. finally a place to make some time fly by fast.. it sure did.. had a couple of beers and a long talk with the bartender.. he was well educated.. not only did he know that there is a country called the Faroe Islands.. he knew that there were 18 of them! and that there´s about 47.000 people spread around on them:) I was impressed… ahja.. and the hours went by with small talk like this.. quite cozy..

and then it was time to catch the damn train! I had been told that they were….special.. not in a good way.. what could I expect?? we have no trains in the country I come from, so I had no idea what kind of special it was.. anyways! I started heating up for the run.. because there was no way in hell that I am gonna miss this train!! the time came and the train was on time.. well.. there was A train there on that time.. I just took my chances and jumped on it.. found myself a seat and thought…”hey.. this isn´t that bad!” there was a nice family that sat down in the same compartment and we greeted eachother in the most honarable way and had a small chit chat in “Eponglish”.. that is what I call polish people who can barely speak english..(live with it!) and the trip started and I was just giggling and thinking to myself… “I hope this is the right train!” the conductor came and wanted to see my ticket.. I asked her if she spoke english and she said “no! I speak Polish!” and she started the ticket inquisition! she asked me all kinds of things and yelled a bit at me and I had no idea whatta hell was going on the family that was so nice to me minutes earlier, was now looking away, avoiding eye contact and all verbal contact! what is going on here!? the conductor came over to me and showed me that this was a ticket for second class.. “wait a minute.. are you telling me that this is FIRST class??” I knew it was a second class ticket! I just thought I sat down in a second class compartment! nope.. back to the second class… oh crap.. I am never buying a second class ticket again in this country! it was smelly and there were some shady characters spread around there..

I found myself a seat and watched my bag like a hawk! as I sat there during the 5 hour trip from Szczecin to Gdansk Oliwa, I started to fantasize again on how nice it was going to be to finally be reunited with my girlfriend again:) the hours went by slowly..

but the hour finally got there:) my girlfriend had sent me a sms where she explained that the train should be in Gdansk Oliwa at 21:52.. and remember.. I am a guy.. 21:52 MEANS 21:52! not 21:52ish! I called my girlfriend again because  the clock was 21:52 and I got off the train… she asked me where the hell I was.. I told her that I had arrived at my destination:) she said no… and she told me to get back in the train… I turned around and the train was gone:P hehehehe.. this is my specialty.. I mean.. hey! the logic was there… the intel was just flawed:) lol.. she asked me atgain… “where the hell are you!?” I saw this big sign above me that spelled “Sopot”.. she said all kinds of untranslatable colourful polish words and hung up the phone:P and minutes later… there she was:) finally! it felt as if I was at home:)

but there was ooone final cab ride left.. and THEN my vacation started;)

more to come next week:)